Maybe its the weather....

Maybe its the weather, but I'm feeling really down recently.  I can't talk or text my Best Friend up here b/c HER Boy Friend, has decided that I'm a "sick fuck", like I posted in a previous posting... I message her while she was at work and she said she missed her BF too, and she would talk to me later but SHHH, she did not want to get in trouble with her BF.  WHAT kind of person gets pissed b/c someone texts or messages or communicates with a friend.  A jackass that's what kind of person!

This dumb ass had a tough childhood, abuse and everything but hey, find me people who haven't had shitty childhoods. He choose to only feel anger, and ya know I truly believe that he is complacently accurate in this statement.  He has just become adept at blurring the lines between lust/love and anger/rage.

I had an ex boyfriend who actually brook up with me because he felt his grip on emotional control slipping and the rage from his childhood reasserting its self and he did not want to "rape" me or hurt me in any sexual way.  I think I finally really understand what that boyfriend was talking about.

I miss my friend.  I worry for her but I can't do anything because he has already threatened my family once and I cant let that happen again.  We have been threw way way to much.

On the plus side of things, I've got my AA degree now SO, I can continue on for my BA in Psychology, probably gonna have to do something with Forensics Psychology and Sociology to do all I want to do. With the Grief Studies, and the SOAP (Sex Offenders Awareness and Prevention).  I know I have to get my BAS and then my Masters.  One of my teachers said I'd make a good teacher/professor of college psychology and that I had not started to late.
 I do wish I had started this road so much earlier, maybe life would be different, but it life was different then I would not be where I am or who I am with, and I may not have my WONDERFUL husband and my children.

I get to walk commencement Wednesday, and I feel like I should be so happy but really I'm just so tired that I'm just not excited about this.  Maybe I just miss my friend.... sigh