I've been meaning to start writing here more often but as usual, it's too easy to push it off till later. I know I posted this on the Secret FB group as well, but well not everyone wants to be or, is in that group yet.
Here are a few of the things I've been thinking about.
1. There was recently a little girl who was kidnapped and killed by a man in her town. And other than being horrified and sad for her family, one of my first thoughts was. "Crap! I can't post a thing about this on FB or anywhere b/c if I do I'll just get a lot of backlash about who and what my husband is."
Oddly enough one of the PCA's for my Grandma is direct friends with the family who lost their little girl so I was able to reach out to them in a different avenue. And for that I'm glad.
2. They just finally found the body of David Wetterling the little boy kidnapped and killed in 1989. In this situation, I again hesitated to post anything, because of my husband. Then I began to read the timeline of the David Wetterling investigation, and the laws brought about, and I realized that my poor husband, was one of the first people to be affected by these laws. Yep you read that right, he committed his offense the very year that the David Wetterling Act was put into law, and Minnesota (where we live) was the first state to institute the SOR. So there you have it. Not only was my husbands case poorly timed but poorly placed. Did he do wrong? yes, was he made an example YES! And get this! When he had issues with registering, b/c he spent to much time at his ex-wife's house with his kids, that 'offense' happened just after Meggan's Law went into effect. I'd say he has a comics timing but its just not that funny.
3. I absolutely HATE when new sex offenders move into my town or surrounding community. It's not because I feel less safe, or that I worry more about my family. I worry about that person and their family, but even more so I am simply put tired of all the residual hate that filters back to MY family. I'm on the town police FB page and EVERY SINGLE time a new Sex Offender is publicized, SOMEONE has to bring up my husband. People have to snip and snipe and whisper about him, to each other. And yes I could just not be on that page, yes I can just ignore them, and for the most part, I do, and yet.... Yet I feel the need to subtly monitor the people of the town I live in. I need to feel as if I can protect my family from all the haters. I need to TRY to know when an attack is coming so that I can deflect it.
My husband tells me not to worry, that he will handle it all since it is because of him that we are dealing with all of this; but in truth, he is one of the people I desperately want to protect. Yes I want to protect my daughter, and I have been actively protecting and educating her but still I'm tired of him being constantly berated for simply breathing and I love him enough to want to lessen that burden. I want to shield and protect him from more hurt, more rejection, more pain. He has paid his dues, and I really wish he could live a life with that truly in his past.
So ok thats enough for my random rant at the moment. I hope this finds everyone well, and if you want feel free to message me, on here or on FB.. I'm not hard to find.
I feel the same way... we just star with this nightmare, he will be sentence in November I pray so hard that he will not be on the Megan law, unfortunately that was the deal 180 days is jail, register as sex offender this is so frustrate because I have 2 kids 5 and 3 some days I just feel like I can't do it anymore...
ReplyDeleteHello, I know the feeling, In fact I have been married to my loved one for about 8 years and we have three children 6, 5, and 1. I was actuallt 4 months along with our third child when we started to experience this nightmare. We have been hassling this horrendous event and the sad thing about this is that my husband had nothing to do with it and it all came from a software called LimeWire. We were surprised when we got raided and they told us that our computer had child pornography on it and we were shocked! We have done everything in our power to fight this but they just do not want to budge even though they believe that this could have been accidental when downloading a different software being that Lime Wire is an unfiltered source you just do not know what is being downloaded and who can get it. Overall, I do not care what people say or how they want to judge my husband. I feel more badly that he has to go through this and worst of all have to register as a public Sex offender for nothing of his intentions even with the authority knowing it. IT IS A CORRUPTED SYSTEM BUT WE ARE NOT HILLARY CLINTON OR DONALD TRUMP AND ARE ABLE TO PAY OUR WAY OUT OF IT. Hopefully change will happen for the better of all of us with the new change that is supposed to go into effect this year. It may take another 6-15 months before change happens but lawsuits are working and it has been told that the SOR is unconstitutional and does not work for anyone. It is considered a kind of punishment something defendants have already served. If only our neighbors were more worried about themselves than others they will learn that it is very unlikely that once committed of a sex crime it is almost never bound to happen again. I have thought time and time again to file a lawsuit against the state and the attorney general because of how unjust our case is but my husband just wants this all to be over. We are actually getting ready to build in a great neighborhood and if anyone has anything to say about it, i will be glade to answer any questions in the worst way possible! Good Luck! Hang in there! Pray and that is all that matter, remember there are around 42,000 registers it has become a business not a punishment.
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ReplyDeleteHi! How can I be added to your secret fb group?
ReplyDeleteCan anyone add me to the secret fb group? I'm so happy to find some other folks with the same problem! I have been in dire straits ,being attacked on a daily basis, I've lost 3 jobs as soon as I had them and everyone I car3d for and loved has all the sudden become two faced and have spread rumors and lies about us. Multiple people have called child protection on me , so now I'm dealing with that. I just wish there was somewhere we could run away. My soon to be husband was released last winter after serving 14 years. The details aregarding inconsequential, all I know he is an amazing man now and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. Trying to find resources and support for our relationship has seemed impossible. My true friends are awesome, but I only have a couple left. My own mother has disowned me and anytime I let my kids spend time with their grandparents, they act like my kids are being traumatized or abused and that's far from the facts. I need to find some people that are going through the same thing. Thanks in advance!
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