How My Mind

OK SO my mind works in weird ways.  Let me first say that I have like a thousand or million disk CD/MP3 player in my head that is set on permanent shuffle so random songs will float threw my head at odd times, so with that said here is what my brain just thought up.
Song: Sandy From: The Musical Grease Line that played in my head:  "Sandy baby I'm in misery.   We made a start, now we're apart; there's nothing left for me.  Spoken: Stranded at the drive in..... Branded a fool... What will they say Monday at school?''
And here is where my brain jumps.  "What will they say Monday at school?"  The oh so precious illusion of a "reputation" to up hold.  The bad boys cant get dumped by the good girls; the good girls can't go out with the bad boys; people cant ever walk away from their pasts because "your reputation proceeds you" is always there.   The same goes for Sex Offenders.  A murder can go to prison and come out "a new man"; who has "served his time" and needs to be given a second chance, and be aloud to move on with his or her life.  But a Sex Offender is BRANDED for life, but its not just his or her lives that are forever changed.

Have I mentioned that my husband refused to allow our daughters to have his last name, because of the crap his older kids went threw in school. He is not aloud to go to ANY of my daughter's extra curricular activities if they are held on school grounds, because the policy of the school system is that IF he were to attend a school sponsored activity he would have a list of rules, including not being able to use a general public restroom, to the school sending a letter home to EVERY SINGLE parent of EVERY SINGLE  child who attends the school weather or not that child would be there during that specific activity.  Frankly I HATE this, I am going to have to spend my daughters entire life explaining to her why daddy wont be able to be at ANY school nonperformance, but a recent event has brought this up for me again.  My daughter recent had birthday party to go to, and my husband refused to go.   I would have appreciated it b/c I'm sinking into some layer of social anxiety or agoraphobia, and he is my rock, but he wont go.  He doesn't want the parents of these kids to remember who's daughter she is.  So now not only does she almost have NO ONE come to her own birthday party, but her daddy wont go to any other birthday parties either.  I guess some times I feel like a single parent, but not really cuz he really is there at every other moment, he just cares to much about her mental stability to purposely put her in the line of fire.

I gotta say this is VERY difficult for me, because I have very recently found out that I can be very vocal and defensive of my husband.  I REFUSE to be ashamed of him and his past and his growth in life but I am constantly being told to just let things go because it stirs the pot to much because it only makes things harder on the rest of our family.  But I want to defend him, I want to champion him, I want to stop and knock some sense into people, and MAKE them see how he has changed, and how much my daughter needs her daddy.

I'm just amazed how much other peoples opinions effect our everyday lives.  I know so many people who say they don't care but really they do; and So very many who let everyone's opinion alter and sway their own opinions until they really don't know what is their own ideas and thoughts or what is someone else's.  I wonder why so many people care so much.   I know this is generally part of our culture but I don't know why.

Ok I'm out of thoughts right now, so I'll post more later.. nights