Cranky

I'm feeling so very cranky recently.  One friend says its because its February and that leads me up to my girls birthday.  Its possible.  It's so had to celebrate one and remember the other at the same time.  I wish I had a group of parents who have been through this kind of stuff I could talk to but the last group I joined really hurt me, so now I just don't want to send my heart out there any more.  But sadly this makes for a cranky me.

Remember I'm taking classes for college one line, and sometimes it feels like no matter what I try to do or when I try to do it I just can't get my school work done, and that just makes me more and more irritated.  My step daughter is now taking school from home.  Long story but the basics is I think she has been misdiagnosed with ADD and Bi Polar.  I think she has asp burgers autism because she has no understanding of social norms and other comfortably.  I think her life as being the child of a sex offender has also shaped her view of things, and it shapes the view of the people around her that she comes in contact with .  Its been a part of her life for so long that she forgets that not everyone knows her and her fathers story, nor do need to.  When they held the school board meeting Monday I stayed home with my almost 4 yr old and my almost 16 year old step son.  It sounded like they were leaning towards home-bound schooling.  She only needs two English classes and she can graduate, and this is her 2 or 3 year of being a senior so this is important!   I think what gets me in this situation is that the stories are so different,  My daughter viewed the "incidences" as friends just playing around, and was not conscious of body parts etc.  And the other girls (3) say it had happened more than once and that they had asked her to stop and she didn't so they finally turned her in.  Everyone says that their main concern if or her to get the help she needs to not make these kinds of mistakes again.    However instead of sitting the 3 other girls down with my daughter and calmly have a discussion that is moderated to keep them all on track they just brush my daughter under the carpet and keep her completely separated.   I as other parents, how do you teach your children right from wrong unless you can get them to empathize with another and not want to treat the in that way?  My daughter says she has always been very touchy feely  and she seems to NEED either constant physical connection to people around her or she needs to be tethered to her lap top so she can Skype for countless hours.  She needs some version of personal contact almost every second o f every day, and is someone texts her at 4 am, she will still answer it!   So for her any physical touch is on a friend basis.  We will have see.   Oh besides the alpaca farm I have a new goal.  I want to start a program that can go all over the country to high schools and colleges do something like DARE- if you know what that is your as old as me lol.  Well instead of DARE9 (drug abuse resistance education)  I want to do SOAP or (Sex Offender Avoidance and Prevention) classes.  So here we go people I am officially claiming this idea as mine so some how I've got to make sure no one else can run with my idea.
Shift topics, we got his fines from our OK county paid off so we are working at getting all our past bills paid so that its easier to get the stuff we need to do and have to start the alpaca farm.    Other than that I'm just working threw school and I keep falling behind because I totally could not read for the life of me for one whole week so now I"m behind.  Sigh.
So now we have an on-going issue with some friends from the south where one mother has accused her now ex husband of molesting her two children and when that was dropped in court she proceeded to charge her former step son of doing the same to her girls as well.   I have to say I am so very glad that I am 4 hours away. 
Oh I'm down to 225 now!  That's 68 lbs since last April!! and 4 months ago I was around people who were smoking before their own feelings.   Ok I'm tired and I"m gonna go to bed night everyone.